Healing Yourself While Your Loved One Recovers

Has a friend of a loved one ever said to you, "You are being co-dependent or you are an enabler"? What does that mean? How does a person stop these behaviors? Why is it important that you do so while a loved one seeks recovery from their substance use disorder?

Co-Dependent Definition: Codependency is a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.

Hallmarks of Co-Dependency: Have an excessive and unhealthy tendency to rescue and take responsibility for other people. Derive a sense of purpose and boost your self-esteem through extreme self-sacrifice to satisfy the needs of others. Choose to enter and stay in lengthy high-cost caretaking and rescuing relationships, despite the costs to you or others. Regularly try to engineer the change of troubled, addicted, or under-functioning people whose problems are far bigger than your abilities to fix them. Seem to attract low-functioning people looking for someone to take care of them so they can avoid adult responsibility or consequences, or attract people in perpetual crisis unwilling to change their lives. Have a pattern of engaging in well-intentioned but ultimately unproductive unhealthy helping behaviors, such as enabling.

How to get help: Follow the link below to view available resources in your area to connect with others that have navigated the same issues you are experiencing and empower yourself. There is help, there are others and you can get and feel better.

http://coda.org/index.cfm/newcomers/